Sober Truth, Drunken Dare
by Airi Shirokuro
Summary: "I dare you to do a duet with Lee, hit on Tenten, and..." he tapped a finger to his chin. "Oh! And kiss Neji." Suggestive content, Nejiten, Naruhina, Shikaino, suggestive Sasusaku. ONESHOT


[Disclaimer: I don't own any of the songs stated below or Naruto. Kishimoto is one lucky beast. Enjoy the story!]

"Now SA-KU-RA! Fooouuund the love we shared, in SEPTEMBER! Only blue talk and looove, remember..."

"Oh gosh..."

Tenten and Neji seemed half-drunk (though it could be argued that they might be completely stoned) and Lee was long gone, singing/slurring/stuttering karaoke while being duct-taped to the wall, otherwise he'd ruin the bar they were at for Kiba's birthday. They were only there because Hiashi forced Neji to go with Hinata, and Neji invited Tenten, and Lee came along, much to the duo's dismay.

"He's been, been singing all night!" Neji spluttered, breathing sake all over Tenten's face.

Tenten blushed at their closeness. She wasn't drunk at all, just acting like it to make Neji feel better, since he was stoned. From her perspective, Lee was singing "September" by Earth Wind and Fire, Kiba and Naruto were having a drinking contest, Sasuke and Sakura were nowhere to be found, Hinata was having a blast with Ino, dancing, and Shikamaru, Choji, and Shino were sleeping/eating/being mysterious in the corner of the bar. Oh, right, and Neji was drunk. Did I mention that?

Tenten blinked, and heard Lee, almost incoherently, "Ba-dee-y-yah, dee-yah, d-dee-yah, I dedicate-hic-the neeeext song tto my preeec-cious-hic-Sakura-ch-chan!" and continue singing "Uptown Girl" unknowing that she'd left for Sasuke's apartment half an hour ago. "U-hic-uptown-hic-guuuurl! She's been living in her-hic-u-uptow-wn world..."

Neji groaned, spilling sake fumes all around their area. Then, Neji said, "You wanna ditch?"

Tenten was stunned, and faked a drunk stutter, asking, "H-Hinata?"

Neji smirked at Shino and Kiba. "They're pretty protectiv-ve of their dear teammate."

Just then, Shino's bugs came and catched a falling Hinata as she danced her way off of the stage.

Tenten smirked. "But we're d-"

"Drunk?" Neji smiled. "Tr-rust me."

Tenten sighed as he stood wobbily and pulled her up to sneak out of the bar. "That's w-what I'm afrai-aid of." she told herself.

They went up to the door when-

"OI NEJI!"

Naruto was smiling, using Lee's good guy pose.

"I CAN TOTALLY BEAT YOU AT A DRINKING CONTEST, BELIEVE IT!"

How he could keep from stuttering and acting stoned was probably the Kyuubi. He was almost perfectly fine, as if he'd been slurping up ramen instead of sake and Coors light mixed with rum. Yeah he didn't know much about how to mix alcoholic drinks. (Neither does the author :P) But he seemed a bit tipsy, and to a slightly drunk Hina-chan, he hung his arms over her shoulders, practically hugging her from behind.

Neji spun around, eyes half closed, elbow resting on Tenten's left shoulder, and she looked about ready to tip over at his weight, and he spoke as if he was way more drunk than he really was. "I-I can-n't. I've g-gotta walk T-tenny home."

Tenten blushed, even if Neji was drunk, this was the first nickname he's ever called her. Tenny.

Naruto's eyebrows raised, and he tightened his arms around a tomato red Hinata's neck, and he actually WAS hugging her. "What about Hina?"

She blushed even harder.

Neji smiled. "You bring her home." He sounded sober all of a sudden. Even odder, he turned towards the door and snaked his left arm around Tenten's waist, about ready to walk out. Until-

"S'you gonna get laid?" Ino came out of nowhere. Well, she was on the other side of the door when they opened it. And predictably, Shikamaru had his arm slung over her shoulders. They seemed disheveled and Shikamaru's lips were swollen.

"OI SHIKAMARU! D'you wanna drink? Kiba passed out cold an hour ago." Naruto smiled.

He seemed tired, even more than usual. "Nah. Too troublesome. Ino just-" he put his head down, blushing.

Ino snickered. "Shika's fun to play with."

"Not asking." Choji said, walking through the crowd to get to the snack table.

Neji sighed. This was one mission he wasn't gonna finish. He lead Tenten back to the sofa they'd been sharing earlier as an annoying blonde started to scream at everyone.

"TRUTH OR DARE!" Naruto yelped, as Kiba started to wake and Lee started to sing some Billy Ray Cyrus.

"Don't b-break-hic-my heeaart, my achy-hic-b-breaky heeaart..."

"WE'RE IN!" Ino answered for her whole team.

"It w-wouldn't hur-tt." Hinata smiled shyly.

"Eh." Tenten shrugged.

"OKAY SASUKE-TEME, SAKURA YOU-where's Sasuke-teme and Sakura?" Naruto asked.

Almost everyone snickered. "Busy."

"Oh no, did Sasuke leave Konoha again with Sakura as his Uchiha lover?"

Ino chuckled. "They left for his apartment an hour ago. "

Naruto was silent. Then he erupted. "I KNEW THEY WERE TOGETHER! THEY SAID NO, BUT I DIDN'T BELIEVE IT! NOW HE'S GETTING LAI-" he passed out when Hinata kissed him.

She giggled. "Oops."

Tenten raised an eyebrow at her, and Hinata blushed. As Akamaru dragged Naruto onto a loveseat with Hinata, Ino began with the truth or dare type stuff.

"I ASK FIRST! Shika-baby, truth or dare?"

Shikamaru yawned, "Truth."

Ino grinned. "Do you loo-ooo-oo-oove me?"

He crossed his arms. "Sure."

She sweatdropped as Shikamaru asked Choji truth or dare.

"Truth!"

"Do you love Ino?" Shikamaru smirked.

Choji blushed scarlet. "DARE! DARE!"

"I dare you to answer that question." Shikamaru said nonchalantly.

"Maybe. But I don't mean it! We've been teammates for years, and she's the only girl that-"

Shikamaru sighed. "S'what I thought. Your turn to ask." he shook his head, muttering something about "troublesome teammate" and "having the nerve to like his girlfriend".

Choji gaped. "Tha's it? You aren't gonna make me beat myself up with your sha-"

"JUST. ASK." an exasperated Kiba said sternly.

Choji pointed at Kiba. "Truth or Dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to, uh, to kiss, uh, SHIKAMARU!"

Kiba, Shikamaru, and Ino all fumed at this.

"NO." Kiba snarled.

"BUT I-"

"NO." Shikamaru hissed.

"IT'S A DA-"

"OH. HELL. NO." Ino growled.

Choji frowned. "Fiiiiiiiiiine, I dare you to try and eat my chips."

Kiba relaxed at this. "Well, a-alright!" he stood up wobbily and reached for the bag, and-

"WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING MY CHIPS?" Choji boomed. Before Kiba could respond, Choji had attacked him, sitting on his stomach. "MYYY CHIIIPPSS!"

"Bu-but you dared me to."

"Oh. Right." Choji pushed the bag towards Kiba, who pulled it out of his hands and reached in.

"It's empty-y." Kiba sweatdropped.

"Yeah, but there are the crumbs!"

Everyone else sweatdropped. Except for Lee, who was butchering Whitney Houston's How will I know.

"How will I KNOW, i-if Sa-kuu-raa loooves me, I say a pr-aaay-er to KAAA-MIII!"

"Okay th-then, Naruto, if you're u-up, truth or dare-re?"

Naruto regained consciousness at the second he heard his name. "YEAAAAH! I PICK DARE, AND IM GONNA DO WHATEVER YOU DARE ME TO, BELIEVE IT! DON'T MAKE IT TOO EASY!"

Kiba looked over at the three members of Team Gai and smiled. "O-okay, I dare you to g-go over to Lee-ee, do a d-duet of 'I was made for loving y-you' with him, then try to h-hit on Tenten and..." he tapped his finger to his chin, "Oh! And kiss Ne-ne-ne-neji."

First person to slap Kiba across the face with a girlish scream? Naruto. First person to hurt Kiba's possibilities of having children? Neji.

"Now that that's dealt with," Neji said smugly, while Kiba was in the fetal position, clutching his groin, "Naruto, go."

Naruto frowned. "But I didn't get to do my dare!"

Neji glared at him, and even without byakugan, his tired bloodshot eyes were scary enough. Also, he seemed to be radiating a "don't-touch-my-teammates-especially-the-pretty-one" type of aura, with a "you-homo-get-away-from-me-I-don't-wanna-kiss-you" type of feel. Even if he was the one with a ponytail.

"ALRIIIGHT!" Naruto said. He looked over at the girl who'd kissed him earlier beside him, and smiled. "Hina-chan," he said softly, "Truth or dare?"

Hinata blushed at the sound of the nickname, and whispered, "Truth."

Naruto smiled widely. "Do you love me?"

Hinata's eyes got huge, face turned spaghetti sauce red, and she started to stutter like crazy. "N-n-na-ar-r-ru-u-ut-to-k-ku-n-n!"

Naruto lowered his lashes and whispered in her ear, "Because I think that I might be starting to love you."

"Ooh"'s emanated around the room.

The color drained from her face and she paled, then just passed out. Naruto smiled at her being at peace, and lifted her, slinging her arms around his neck and holding her by her back and her legs dangling by the backs of her knees.

He winked at Neji, who nodded his head, and headed off to who knows where.

Tenten stared incredulously at her teammate and dropped the drunk act. "So that's it? You're letting Naruto take her? How do you know that he's not gonna rape her in her sleep? How do you know that he won't-"

"Tenten, it isn't rape if they both want it."

Kiba backed him up, wincing as he sat up. "She talkss in her slee-eep during missions." he put on a falsetto voice, imitating Hinata,"'Oh, oh Naruto! Yes, ye-es, right there! Oh! I-I'm gonna, gonna! Oooohhh!' There are reasons why me and Shino shove b-bugs and dog fur down our ea-ears at night, right Shino?"

Everyone was laughing, and Shino nodded. Tenten crossed her arms.

"Okay, now what? You know what, Neji, you're her cousin, it's her turn, you go."

"Alright."

The night dragged on. Neji asked Shino for truth if he liked his cousin, who said no. Before he left with Kiba (experiencing the start of an extreme hangover) and Choji (experiencing the start of extreme heartburn), Shino dared Ino to enter Shikamaru's mind to see what he was thinking, resulting in them making out and eventually leaving, but not before Ino dared Tenten to do something."

"I dare you to kiss Neji!" and she pranced off.

Tenten blushed. "Uh, uh..."

She got up. She headed over to Lee's direction. She asked him to shut up for a minute. He stopped midway through "Can you feel the love tonight" and started to complain, but Tenten just knocked him out cold with a bo staff to the head.

Tenten sat down beside Neji. She sat quietly. Then she turned to Neji and kissed him. Then she got up towards the door. When she stood, Neji grasped her wrist.

"Wait." Neji stood up, face to face with her. He placed a delicate kiss on her lips. After a few moments, the broke apart. "I knew that you were never drunk, Tenny."

She kissed him back. "You weren't either."

Neji held her hand, leaving the bar to watch the moon and stars dance around and eventual sunrise.

{The Next Morning}

"Yawn! Another start of a youthful - SQUIRRELS AND ACORNS WHERE AM I? This must be another youthful exercise from Gai-sensei! I have to break off of the wall using my tai-OW! My head hurts! Ow! GAI-SENSEEEEEIIIIIIIII!"

Of course, everyone forgot Lee duct taped to the bar wall...


End file.
